Caught in the Spotlight: When Leaders Mishandle Sexual Abuse Disclosures

The dark strategies some leaders deploy when confronted with the mishandling of abuse disclosures.

By Boz Tchividjian

Tragically, when it comes to abuse, sex offenders are not the only ones who deceive. Too often, leaders of institutions respond similarly when confronted with the mishandling of sexual abuse disclosures. Instead of acknowledging the failure and grieving over the pain the institution has caused an already traumatized victim, some leaders immediately move into self-protection mode. Sadly, in many of these cases, they will stop at almost nothing to shift the focus away from their own reprehensible failings in order to protect personal and organizational reputations.

Darkness provides a shield for both abusers and those who fail to protect victims. When a survivor steps forward to tell others how institutional leaders mishandled their sexual abuse disclosure, it’s like a powerful spotlight, exposing evil for what it is. These spotlights come in many different forms and sizes—media reports or articles, lawsuits, and even blogs and social media.

A few years ago, I learned of one faith institution whose leaders failed miserably in addressing the abuse of children under its care. As adults, the survivors privately confronted the leaders about how their failure to respond had devastated their lives. The leaders expressed concern and promised to “look into it.” The sad reality was that, as long as the conversations remained private, leaders had nothing to lose by dragging it out as long as possible, hoping the issue would simply go away. Thanks to the persistence and courage of the survivors, it would not go away. After two years of inaction, the survivors took matters public, creating a blog to expose the leadership’s neglect. As the spotlight grew, the institution lost control of the narrative and was forced to face the truth.

Instead of focusing time and energy on doing the right thing when a spotlight is turned on, many leaders will try to get them turned off or misdirected. Fortunately, the truth can be quite stubborn.

Here are some of the tactics leaders use to get the spotlight off of themselves—and how they’re harmful to those seeking justice.

“Turn it off, you’re hurting Jesus/your faith.”

Leaders caught in the spotlight will often claim that the public exposure of their failures is the airing of “dirty laundry” that hurts the faith’s reputation. Do you see the deception and danger of this tactic? Whether in Christianity, where it is Jesus who brings light into darkness, or in other faiths, so many of our spiritual traditions emphasize the importance of truth and accountability. Those who are bringing truth to the light are the ones accused of somehow being hurtful. Really? Perhaps, keeping dark and ugly truths silent is what hurts Jesus. Perhaps, bringing this evil out into the light is what faith is all about.

“Turn it off, you’re hurting other victims.”

An abuse survivor once told me that church leaders requested that she stop speaking publicly about her own abuse story. They “advised” that the matter be addressed privately, suggesting it was hurting other abuse survivors. This strategy is particularly reprehensible because it not only silences the survivor but also exploits other victims. Fortunately, she didn’t listen to their “advice.”

This tactic is deceptively clever because it attempts to paint a bold survivor as an insensitive perpetrator in a disgusting attempt to shame the survivor into being quiet. Leaders who really care about abuse survivors do not aim to control or silence them. Instead, they should focus their efforts on providing survivors with qualified and experienced assistance.

Point the spotlight towards the perpetrator.

If they can’t turn it off, leaders will sometimes try to shine the spotlight elsewhere with the hope that their mishandlings will be overlooked or minimized. Most of the time, the perpetrator is a leading candidate. Leaders will argue that the focus should be exclusively on the one who committed the horrific crime. They make convincing statements about the horrors of sexual abuse and how such offenders should be punished. They highlight the heinous particularities of the offense, hoping that the watching world becomes so disgusted with the perpetrator that the failures of the leadership pale in comparison. Shifting the spotlight towards the egregiousness of the offender’s behavior does not make the failed responses of leaders any less wrong and hurtful.

Point the spotlight towards the victim.

Sadly, we live in a culture that is still quick to discredit sexual abuse victims. By casting doubt on a victim’s character or credibility, the institution attempts to downplay the significance of its role and any mishandling by leaders.

I recently learned of a clergy who abused his position to engage in sexual contact with an adult parishioner. When confronted about the matter, the minister laughed it off, claiming the victim was an alcoholic and couldn’t be trusted. Unfortunately, this attack on the victim’s integrity gave the church leadership the perfect excuse to do nothing. Other attempts to discredit victims can be more subtle, such as claiming that the victim was partially responsible for the sexual abuse, or that the victim is exaggerating about the type or gravity of the abuse. Attempts to discredit victims come in all shapes and sizes, but the objective is always the same. By amplifying the victim’s actions, leaders can retreat to the shadows, minimizing their own failures.

Point it towards anyone but me.

The reality is that many leaders who are caught in the glare of spotlights that expose ugly truths will work feverishly to point them at anyone but themselves. An all too convenient tactic is to demonize those who express support for the victim. Supporters’ motives are questioned, while the leader claims to be unfairly persecuted. If leaders can shift the conversation to the persecution of themselves and their faith, they can redirect the narrative away from their mishandling of abuse.

Supporters aren’t the only ones who find themselves maligned by leaders desperate to push away the penetrating spotlight. I recently learned of a pastor who actually blamed unsuspecting and devastated parents for not protecting their child from being sexually abused by an adult. Little doubt that this distressing claim was an attempt to turn that darned spotlight off of his own failed response to this crime.

Spotlights don’t get turned off or turned away easily. I believe that has everything to do with the amazing individuals who bravely step forward and risk so much to have them turned on. So many of these heroes have spent their lives struggling in the shadows, while the leaders who failed them continue to pastor churches and operate ministries without ever considering the destruction and pain they have caused.

If you are a survivor, or love someone who is, and are considering shining a light on those who failed to protect you, we’re here to listen and help you explore the next steps towards justice and accountability.

If you’re a survivor of abuse seeking justice, BozLaw is here to help with professional guidance and compassionate legal support. Contact us today for a free case evaluation.

Boz Tchividjian is an attorney at BozLaw P.A. who represents sexual abuse survivors throughout the country. A version of this article was originally published for the Religion News Service (RNS). Used with permission.